


A Wizzard by any other name...

by handschuhmaus



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Crack, Food
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 16:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13251765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handschuhmaus/pseuds/handschuhmaus
Summary: Taako not quite, almost, but not really, just about, bites into a taco. More than once.(A set of diversions from the Murder on the Rockport Limited arc)





	A Wizzard by any other name...

**Author's Note:**

> a) I should note that, purely because right now I'm having trouble conceiving of TAZ in any format other than its own, the real people here are doing an appearance as themselves, so to speak. Not really an RPF I'd say.  
> a.i) so, incidentally, I am not quite to episode 20 yet, so um, not super well informed, such that even most of the oldest TAZ fics on AO3 contain people I don't know.  
> a.ii) despite having listened to several Sawbones episodes, distinguishing Justin's normal speaking voice from Travis's eludes me  
> b) This fic is dedicated to my love of what I understand to be (but don't know for certain) more Mexican tacos, tasting of masa and lime* and onion and cilantro.  
> b.i) but that's far from the only food in such a format that I enjoy.
> 
> *(I mean the citrus; I think the nixtimalization is implied for tortilla masa.)

Taako: I wake up and want some food. Can I go to the dining car?

Griffin: Ok, so you...enter the dining car.

Taako: I roll to see if Jenkins will make me a sandwich

Clint: (slightly exasperated) He's not--was that a joke?

Travis: What I want to know is--ahem

Magnus: What I want to know is what this roll is you're talking about.

Justin: okay, okay. _I_ roll to see if Jenkins is up to whipping up some brunch

Clint: is it brunchtime, though? I didn't think it was morning.

Travis: I just realized this is just like the unlimited pasta pass and completely useless to the game mechanics.

Griffin: (jokingly) You make a hash browns checks and Jenkins rolls a waffles saving throw, and--it's a 2. You can get some, uh, brunch.

Taako: How about some chicken and waffles?

Griffin: So, Jenkins starts making your waffles--

Clint: He should roll a skill check to see if he's good enough at cooking.

Griffin: okaay. (rolls dice) aw shit. Jenkins rolls a crit miss, so he's just like so wrapped up in thinking about something else that he puts a waffle in the fryer and the chicken in the waffle iron and then catches the waffle iron on fire. The car smells like burning--

Justin: Griffin, does this fantasy world have plastic? Electricity?

Griffin: It's a magic waffle iron!

Justin: because didn't they use to make waffles in like iron molds or something? That isn't gonna catch on fire.

Clint: Right. Maybe it's like a wooden handle so you're not touching the hot iron? I don't think it would go in the oven.

Travis: Also, if he's got a waffle handy, why is he using a waffle iron?

Griffin: Magic! So Jenkins says:

Jenkins: Uh, sorry about that. I guess I was distracted.

Taako: Mmm, fried waffle.

Griffin: And uh, Graham comes up, and says

Graham: Oh, are we having brunch?

Travis: The juicy wizard?

Graham: Could I get some orange juice, do you think?

Justin: You know, I'd really like some graham crackers about now.

Griffin: Yes, the juicy wizard. But he just wants something to eat, too.

Clint: But we don't even need to eat, do we? 

Merle: Hey, young wizard, have you heard the good word about Pan?

Graham: Uh, actually I'm agnostic. Are you gonna eat that waffle?

...

Griffin: (after a pause) Taako, are you going to eat your brunch?

Clint: I think he's gone to get graham crackers.

Griffin: Aw jeez.

Magnus: Maybe we should be getting on with the mission, Merle.

Griffin: So Jenkins overheard that and he drops the waffle. 

Jenkins: Excuse me, uh, what mission would that be? And who's Merle?

Merle: Oh nothing, that was nothing.

Taako: (wrapper crinkles) So what'd I miss?

Griffin: Well, you guys nearly blew your cover and Jenkins dropped the waffle, so maybe it's time to try something other than brunch.


End file.
